(Hey Guys, It’s The Bible: Now with updates!)
So, I was watching The Daily Show on Wednesday and they had a segment on how wrong CNBC was every step of the way about the financial crisis. I don’t want to transcribe it, so here.
And that got me thinking. Because people still watch CNBC, right? It’s not like there have been any consequences to them whatsoever about how they’ve been completely wrong on the only thing they’re expected to know. Jim Cramer is still supposed to be some genius, and everyone’s ignoring that his advice really wasn’t very good at all.
But none of these financial geniuses can be trusted. Following their advice doesn’t get you anywhere. So I hit upon my own brilliant idea: I can start my own financial news network.
Now, I won’t give good advice because I don’t know how. But, since nobody else does either, nobody will be able to tell how bad my advice is! So all I have to do is get my friends to show up and call me a visionary and a maverick and a genius, and I’ll be set. But of course, nobody would trust the word of some random people, so they can just lie and say that they’re high-powered business executives at Wells Fargo or something.
Bam! Instant credibility, and suddenly I’ll be trusted without having to provide any proof that what I’m saying is true. Then, I can just retire to some beach, cash the checks and laugh.
The best part is that no one will check any of the credentials that any of us claim to have. Because they’re financial networks, and as the Daily Show clip up there proved, they don’t investigate shit.
